It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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