At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I need a burrito and a hug.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
