He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
