When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
