She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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