epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
