No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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