i just had sex bonerless
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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