Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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