Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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