They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
