Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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