who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
