Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
