A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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