I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
