this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
