In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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