I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
