The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
where are my eyebrows?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
