I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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