I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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