im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's just like the Real World with babies
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
