I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
