nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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