She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize