Where is the hickey?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
