She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
