I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
