Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
