a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
