bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
