In the future we'll all be gay
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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