I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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