ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
