i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
