he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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