shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
