he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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