WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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