its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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