his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
