My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
