PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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