Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
