Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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