You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
