ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
