Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
