i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
