At least make sure they are 18
Why
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
