remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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