needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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