Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
