talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
