i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
