You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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