hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
