HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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