dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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