didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
