just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
