Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
