Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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