let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
